Tuesday, May 16, 2006

---

Hey baby!
It's gonna be twelve soon.
And I'm going to bed soon too I guess.
Just a little too bored before going to bed.
So I'm here!
Haha!

My ankle's hurting from the jog this morning I think.
It's...
Painful.
I think too long never run.
But it's okay.
From now on I think I'll get used to it.

Wonder if you're in bed already.
I sure hope you are?
Bet you're tired from the day.
Physically, mentally.
Whatever reason it may be.
Just hope you'll get enough rest.
Then I'll see a lively you tomorrow to once again make my day!

About 18 hours more till I see you.
I CANT WAIT!!!
Haha.
I'm so free I'm always counting the minutes till I next see you.
Tsktsk.
I wonder if that'll actually help to improve my Maths?
WAHAHA!
Not funny.
I know.
:x

And tomorrow will be 2 days before the weekends arrive.
And you're the most... 'free' during weekends I guess.
No meetings on Sats and Suns.
No school.
Only assignments and proposals.
And it's also during the weekends that I get to see you most.
(Cos of paijus!)
I LOOOVE WEEKENDS!!!!
(:

If anything's to take the weekends away...
I'm so gonnna....
KILL MYSELF!!
(Shi de, xian zai de nian qing ren jiu shi na me xiang bu kai.)
LOL.

Anyway...
My day's been...
Not too smooth today.
Not that anything major happened.
Or like...
I got scolded or got into trouble.

I dont know what's gotten into me also.
Been thinking a lot these days.
During my free times.
During my busy times.
Like almost all the time kinda thing?
Just...
Daze very easily.
Ecen as I try to keep my mind occupied.
Myself occupied.

Think about nothing in particular.
Just very random thoughts.
About everything and everyone around me.
Friendship.
Relationship.
Kinship.

Its very unhealthy.
I know.
But...
I just cant help it.
They just come to me.

Maybe it's 'cause I've been too tired.
Maybe it's 'casue I've been casting too much aside in the past.
Maybe it's 'cause I've too much time.
Or maybe, I'm just pms-ing.
But I feel that everything inside's starting to fall apart?

Its a cycle for me la.
The sponge in me.
Absorbence level is just that low I guess?

Dont know why I'm writing this too.
Just want a place to speak my mind I guess.
I dont know how to put all these into words to tell anyone.
In person

Even when I type here.
I cant piece them together.
And it's painful inside.
I know I'm gonna break, soon.
Cause I feel that...
Thing in me everyday.
Like I know one fine day I'll just give in.
And I hate it!
'Cause it always takes me a whole lot of strength to get out of it.
Sigh.
I hope I wont...
Ever have to get into it again.

I dont wanna be losing sleep each night.
I dont wanna be waking feeling as if I haven slept.
I dont wanna be waking to a day of dark gray skies.
I'm scared...
Of many many things.

It's okay if you dont understand whatever's above.
It's okay if you've no idea what to say to this.
I just wanted to pen them down.
I just wanted to tell someone.
Even if this is just a blog which noone ever reads.
I'll still write it.
Cos I dont wish to keep them in.

I guess I'll be fine soon.
I just needa snap out of it.

Guess I'll go find things to do again.
And hopefully....
Fall asleep soon.
With a peaceful night.
I want nightmares no more.
Nites dear.

iloveyouu.
(:
`missing youu at 11:56 PM.