Thursday, September 10, 2009
Day 8Good morning baby I'm suppose to be bathing and getting ready for school now, but somehow I'm just online. Didnt sleep well again, spent the whole night thinking about things. Haha. Baby zhen de shi tie shi xin chang, lian ai dou you cuo ai de ke neng.
I got a letter from you yesterday, it's probably the last letter from you, and yet it was still nothing sweet baby. Compared to everything else in the past, this letter really made me feel like tearing it apart and killing myself right there. But of course, I didnt.
And of course, the letter I wrote to you, probably wouldnt be the last from me, so you just gotta be expecting more. Whether you feel like reading them at the end of the day, its up to you baby. Haha.
Well well, you yuan wu fen de wo men, zai novena cai shen er guo. You shi hou, wo zhen de fan jue zi ji wu fa zi ba de xiang nian zhe ni. Take tuesday for example, I woke up missing you hell load! And I felt like running to you in school for a hug! And yesterday, when I woke up, I was counting the mins to see you, hoping that time would pass faster and I could hug you and never let go! And I guess, needless to say, you should know its the same for today baby. I woke up missing you, I'm counting down to seeing you at 2. I'm counting down to being near you baby.
Sigh. I just wanna be with you with you with you you know baby? I dont see why everyone else can be in love and feels nothing wrong, but you can feel like i'm the wrong person to be with. I dont know, what if your friends become accepting of you one day baby? Will you choose to come back to me?
Is it because I'm really just too near and convenient for you? I asked if you would miss me yesterday, and you said yes. But I dont know how to make you miss me, I dont know how much you'd miss me, and I dont know how to bring myself away from you to make you miss me baby. I want you to miss me, to want me, to love me.
I wish, we could all turn back time, to when you still wanted me, needed me, and loved me.
But its all too late baby. I'm no longer in your heart. I'm no longer the one. Baby, you know something? I know you're gonna hate me for this, but I really still haven decided to WANT to give you up baby. 18 more months.
I feel like I'm in hell already baby. Could you, just end this life for you, please?
`missing youu at 9:24 AM.
